DISCO LOVE CHILD

By Jonathan Harris

(A waiting area in the Port Authority bus station. A tall, lanky woman of indeterminate years bounds onto the stage carrying a suitcase. She is obviously beside herself with excitement and continually looks around in disbelief and awe. She is singing.)

WOMAN

WELL, I DON'T KNOW BUT I HEAR TELL

THE NEW YORK CITY IS THE ROAD TO HELL...

But time's on my side this side of the Mississippi! Ain't no doubt about this, missy, I'm about to yell it out WHOOOOEEEEE! Jesus, our Lord! I'm here! Not there no more so take that and put it where light cannot reach Arkansas, Sassy! Holy Heaven, I am about to be born again!

(She looks at nails)

Lord, what a filthy bus.

(She cleans her nails with her teeth)

I swear I didn't touch nuthin'. you know what they should do, doncha? They oughta hand out butt cozies. You know, kinda like on a toilet? So's you can sit down and not soil yourself.

(Spits out piece of dirt)

And gloves would be nice, but...hell, what's it matter? I am here now. 'Bout as clean as a pig in the pantry, but I'm here.

(She sits on her suitcase and begins filing her nails. She stops quickly and checks, for the thousandth time, her pocket for an old, folded up piece of paper. She unfolds it, carefully, checks it, folds it up again and puts it back in her pocket.)

I suppose 6 in the A.M. is a little too rooster early to call on city folk, ain't it? I can wait, I guess. Waited this long.

(She looks around)

Kinda different than I thought. All the pictures I seen and TV and movies and such made me figure different. More mink and stuff's what I figured. Everybody here looks kinda normal. Exceptin' their color.

(Looks around)

1...2...3...4...5...and 6..whew! Six white folk with all these people? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not prejudice or nothin. Just kinda surprised is all. I like colored people. I think they're funny. Ida Mae was a little colored girl in high school and she was just like ordinary folk. Only different. I don't know what ever happened to her either. Just...went away, I guess. Let's see...

(Looks at watch)

If it's 6 here...

(Subtracts in her head)

It's 3 A.M. in Bridle. Hmph. Charlie's just startin to drag his sorry ass home 'bout now, imagine. His sorry, old ass that's seen better days by my clock. Well, the Lord made him, the Lord can have him. I'm in New York City now and how do you like that?

I read this article, ;you see. All about how women aren't able to live up to their potential causa the men in their lives and how, if they'd just get a little more nerve up, they'd have better memories when they died or something. Then, when I got hold of that book about the inner mysteries of the vulva, well, I just knew that the Big Apple was about to get one more seed. Plus, I wanna find my mama. And maybe get some new shoes.

I woulda brought Clarisse, but she's just too young and woulda held me back. You cannot take the journey of your life with a baby on your hip. She'll be fine without me. She's made of strong stuff that one. I knew she wasn't gonna die when they told me she was. Doctors. They know less about life than they pretend they do, for certain. That baby was in me. Not them. I knew how strong she was. They didn't. Takes much more than a weak heart to stop the Clancy clan. That I knew, that I told 'em and that they finally figured out, too. She'll be fine. She don't need me anymore. Did my part. Now, it's up to her. She'll be fine.

I can't wait to see Studio 54! Whooooheee..that's just the end, I bet. That's why I planned it to get here on the weekend. Oh, I read all about it at the Cozy Cut-up where they do my hair. All that glamour packed into one beg room Piled right on top of each other like crunch on gravel. Elton John, Bianca Jagger (who some people say resembles me), Mariah Carey and oh, Lord, do I dream? Is that Tom Jones? I wonder if he'll recognize me as his biggest fan? It don't matter, I suppose, but it would sure be something and a half!

(She pulls out paper again)

Maybe mama know him. I got her number a coupla years ago from that Find Your Parents place that was in the Enquirer. Three hundred dollars was a lot of money to give but, poof, what's money for but to spend? I woulda called from back home but I didn't wanna call long distance. Now, it'll just cost a quarter and I'll come on over. I'll tell her all about myself and we'll have a champagne lunch and she'll wear a fur. I'll tell her about her grandbaby and all and, after feelin her out a bit, I might let her know how when Daddy died he spoke of her. She'll wanna know that, imagine. Then tonight we'll go to Studio 54 together and I'll meet Tom Jones. And I'll stay with her in her penthouse apartment and we'll stay up all night whispering and giggling like school girls. Or maybe we'll just stay out all night dancing. That'd be good too. Oh, it's gonna be great! It's gonna be..wahoooeee! I just can't wait another New York minute. I just can't!

(She hops up and runs to pay phone. Drops quarter in, dials)

It's ringing! One....two...three...hello?...Hello...this is....is...is this Elizabeth Taylor?

(Lights out)